Only Nyquil Can Restore Your HonorFebruary 5, 2009
Samurai Cathy is a super bad ass, except when she gets sick.
“Mikka, take my sword and behead me,” Samurai Cathy says, all bundled in blankets in her bed and sounding all stuffy. “I wish to die a warrior’s death.”
“You’re not dying,” says Mikka. “You just have a cold.”
“Don’t let my enemies see me like this,” begs Samurai Cathy. “I don’t want them to see me in such a decrepit state.”
“You have a runny nose and sinus congestion,” says Mikka. “It will go away with rest.”
“I can’t raise my sword,” Samurai Cathy moans. “If Ninja Vicki shows up, kill me before she can. Allow me to save face and deny her the glory of slaying me.”
“I’ll make you some chicken soup,” says Mikka.
“It will do no good,” says Samurai Cathy with a sneeze. “Allow me the dignity of a quick death.”
Thankfully Mikka has NyQuil, which he tells Cathy is a tonic that will send her spirit to the land of wind and ghosts. In reality it puts Cathy right to sleep for eight hours. Then Cathy wakes up feeling better and her deathbed pleas are never discussed again.