The V in V-Day Stands for Very CrazyFebruary 10, 2009
So Tina the Lesbian had the strangest phone call the other day.
“Is this Tina the Lesbian?” says the caller.
“Yes it is,” says Tina. “Who’s calling?”
“Tag Larkin wants to know if you’re free for Valentine’s Day,” says the caller, revealing his identity for no one speaks for Tag Larkin. He does all his own talking.
“How did you get this number?” says Tina.
“There are only 28 people named Tina in this town, according to Tag Larkin’s phone book,” says Tag Larkin.
“So why do you want to know if I’m free for Valentine’s Day,” says Tina the Lesbian.
“Tag Larkin wants to take you out for a romantic dinner at the Foreplay Bistro,” says Tag Larkin. “And if things go well, Tag Larkin knows a nice motel with free HBO and a wide assortment of erotic oils.”
“Tag, you do know that I’m a lesbian, right?” says Tina. “I’m not interested in men.”
“But Tag Larkin is more than a man,” he says.
“I’m attracted to women,” says Tina. “You’re not a woman.”
“Tag Larkin is more than a woman too,” says Tag Larkin. “You know what they say: Straight or fag, they all love Tag.”
“No one says that,” says Tina.
“Tag Larkin just said it,” says Tag. “So how about experimenting in some Tagosexual relations this Valentine’s Day?”
Tina respectfully declines and says she has to hang up because her house is on fire. But before that, she gives Tag Larkin the number to Sean and Lucia Wheatley’s house where they found out an uncomfortable truth: Married or single, Tag Larkin likes to mingle.