Crimson Rising: Part One

March 9, 2009

To capitalize on the release of the movie Watchmen this past weekend, Renal Failure presents a week-long superhero epic starring our own popular superhero…

Our local superhero Crimson Paraplegic has been in a bit of a funk lately. There hasn’t been any new crime for her to stop, her partner Mercury Shadow is away on a week-long Superhero Conference in Antigua, and she’s still smarting after not making it into the Super Six Sorority. But when the call went out that there was a break-in at a local microchip manufacturing plant, Crimson was more than ready to fly into action. Any criminal can rob a bank, but it takes a more devious criminal to go after high tech stuff. And Crimson Paraplegic knows that stopping devious criminal masterminds can score some awesome publicity and endorsement deals.

Instead, Crimson Paraplegic found her old enemy Doctor Platonic committing the crime, this time with an army of Eliza Dushku robots in his employ (which Doctor Platonic had to identify for Crimson Paraplegic because she’s not familiar with Dushku’s work).

“Oh for shit’s sake, I thought you weren’t doing crime anymore now that you got a girlfriend,” says Crimson Paraplegic.

“The Lacrosstitute broke up with me,” says Doctor Platonic.

“You can find another woman,” says Crimson Paraplegic.

“I already have,” says Doctor Platonic. “Multiple ones! Dushku-bots, attack!”

Crimson easily handles the Eliza Dushku-bots with her super strength and apprehends the bad doctor. But after delivering him to the proper authorities, she can’t deny that something wasn’t quite right. This crime was way above Doctor Platonic’s means. And his usual M.O. was to score opportunities to get close to Crimson Paraplegic, but this time he unleashed his robots on her. Had his break-up with the Lacrosstitute pushed him further into super-villainy?

And if things were confusing enough, that night a bright spotlight hit the dark cloudy skies, displaying a giant handicapped symbol above the city.

“The Paraplegic signal!” she exclaims before realizing that our town doesn’t have a Crimson Paraplegic signal.

And so our crippled hero flies off to find out where the signal is coming from, and who wants her to find it…

To be continued…

crimson smallnote



One comment

  1. I got distracted after there were multiple Eliza Dushku’s…

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