No one opens Pandora’s Box by mistake, do they?

April 12, 2009

Dear guy who was born in 1980 from Texas who used my email address to sign up for Pandora,

What the fuck, dude? Seriously. Why would you sign up for something under someone else’s email?

Luckily I know it’s not because you got into my email account because Pandora doesn’t send out a confirmation link email to verify your address after you sign up.  But did you think the owner of that email address wouldn’t find out about it?  They send a “Welcome to Pandora!” email when you sign up. Did you not think that once the owner of that email address saw that email all he’d have to do is hit the “Forgot my password” button on Pandora and lock you completely out? What made you think this was a good idea? And furthermore why did you pick cockballs as your password?

I’d be more pissed off about this but Pandora is damn awesome, so I’m keeping it for myself. First thing to go, your profile info, which is how I know you’re a dude from Texas born in 1980. Now I’m back to being the 45 year old woman from Truth or Consequences, New Mexico that I pretend to be to keep the government from stealing my memories. Next, your stations. Gone. No more ZZ Top and The Gorrilaz and whatever Fever Ray is. Now it’s replaced with DragonForce, Nightwish, and The Minibosses.

But seriously… what the fuck? Gmail addresses are free. Get your own! Or was this some elaborate plot to get me to be a Pandora listener? This shark is either very clever or very stupid. And he can’t go down with three barrels, not with three he can’t!





  1. Brody: Quint! The shark…he went under! Where’d that son of a bitch go?

    Quint: Aye bloody mate. Three barrels. Three barrels. You keep chumming sheriff…

    Find out that dude’s IP and have some real fun.

  2. Weird. I guess there’s worse things someone could co-opt your email address for, though.

  3. Yes, this could be the most innocuous e-mail theft story ever. But it’s the low stakes involved that confounds me so.

    I wish I could get his IP, but I’ll settle for taking the Pandora account.

  4. Pandora is awesome, actually; I’ve organized some channels to use for emergency massage music in case my stereo goes wonky.

    But have you ever thought that maybe you have a groupie and this is sort of his love letter?

  5. I feel so left out. Pandora can only be used in the US.

  6. Sled, you’ve got a point. This could have been the most indirect way for someone to let me know about Pandora. And how do I react? The same way I react to everything: with profanity and derision.

    WOI, I didn’t know it was USA exclusive. Now I feel bad that my prominent Australian audience can’t partake in the joy of Pandora. Or Hulu. But at least Renal Failure is available worldwide.

  7. Profanity and derision have their positive aspects, heaven knows.

  8. Ha… cockballs.

    Fever Ray is Karen from ‘the knifes’ side project. Though it sounds exactly the same as her main project.

  9. the idiot who opened one with my email was a female in louisiana born in 1977, and her taste in music was dreadful…..but i changed all of the info and i like pandora :) too bad about the 40 hours thing ;)

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