Who’s giving swords to the Irish?

April 21, 2009

Usually when I read about a sword-related crime in the news I discuss it with Ninja Vicki, being that she’s an expert on swords. But now that Samurai Cathy is around and dating Mikka I have another option regarding swords in the news.

So when I read a story out of Ireland that a guy chopped off another guy’s hand in a bar fight with a samurai sword, I knew who to find.

“What? What do you want me to say about this?” says Samurai Cathy, not used to people like me initiating conversations about people in the news misusing swords. “Swords cut things off. What else can I add to this?”

It’s at this point that I mention that the guy who got his hand cut off punched the swordsman in the face with his bloody stump.

“That’s why I don’t bother hacking off limbs and go straight for the head,” says Samurai Cathy. “I would rather not fight someone who will hit me with their stump. That’s hardcore.”

“See, now you’re getting it,” I say.

“Getting what?” she replies.

“Getting what this is all about,” I say. “I need your expertise for these stories about swords.”

“What more do you need to know about swords?” says Samurai Cathy. “They will fucking cut you wide open.”

“Look, you’re a samurai and a samurai sword was used in a story on the news,” I say. “You have the appropriate samurai experience to provide the necessary insight to reach the deeper meaning to these tales.”

“What can I add to this?” says Samurai Cathy. “Guy cut another guy’s hand off with a sword, handless guy punches other guy with bloody stump. What else do you want from me?”

“Ninja Vicki would provide more insight,” I say.

“All right… I’ll give it a shot…” Samurai Cathy grumbles, taking another look at the story. I knew invoking the name of her blood enemy would motivate her. “Well, obviously this guy wasn’t trying to murder this other guy because he hacked at him like six times without landing a killing blow. I prefer landing a fatal strike as soon as possible.”

“Does this mean that the Irish are not good samurai?” I ask.

“This guy sure wasn’t, but I don’t see why there can’t be Irish samurai,” says Samurai Cathy.

“Could you train Marlie to be a samurai?” I ask.

“Maybe if she sobered up,” says Samurai Cathy.

That’s a big no then.

cathy smallnote



  1. Just discovered you (eh, maybe again?) via Highway Hags, and, eh, well, great post…I think? lol

    Seriously…seriously? Hmm…

  2. I think you might have been here before, but it’s good to see you back. Hope you stay this time around.

  3. Marlie could learn the drunken master technique? Couldn’t she?

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