Deadliest RelationshipApril 30, 2009
There’s a bit of friction in Samurai Cathy and Mikka’s relationship, and it’s all because of a cable TV show.
SpikeTV has a new program called Deadliest Warrior that pits different types of warriors throughout history against each other through the miracles of forensics and computer simulation programming. And one of the episodes that our happy couple caught was samurai vs. viking.
Being the proud Scandinavian that he is, Mikka was rooting for the viking. Being a samurai, Cathy was rooting for… well, you know who she was rooting for. And in the end the samurai was declared the victor by a slim margin.
“That is bullshit, man!” Mikka declared. “They totally didn’t take berserker rage into account.”
“Rage is nothing against superior technique and weaponry,” says Samurai Cathy.
“Tell that to most of northern Europe,” says Mikka. “We pillaged the shit out those people.”
“So the viking whooped on some armorless farmers who couldn’t hold a pitchfork steady, big flippin’ deal,” says Samurai Cathy. “Like the guy said on the show, the only warrior who could kill a samurai is another samurai.”
“We crossed the damn Atlantic way before Columbus,” Mikka says. “That is a clear display of strength and fortitude and it wasn’t included in those computer simulations.”
“Too bad longboats don’t mean shit on the battlefield,” says Samurai Cathy. “Have fun in Nova Scotia, but don’t come in the samurai’s backyard or we will cut you in half before you can say Valhalla.”
They didn’t talk to each other for a few days, but it was all smoothed over by the next episode of Deadliest Warrior: Ninja vs. Spartan. And the spartan whooped the ninja’s ass, much to Cathy’s delight.