Gay Grandfather Clause

May 27, 2009

“So the gay marriage ban in California still stands, right?” I say.

“That’s right,” says Tina the Lesbian.

“But if you got gay married in between when the Supreme Court first legalized gay marriages and when Prop 8 passed to re-ban gay marriage, then you can stay gay married?” I say.

“That’s right,” says Tina the Lesbian.

“I bet there’s a lot of gay couples in California saying ‘Damn, if we had only met each other sooner,'” I say. “They just missed the equality window.”

“I’d rather my civil rights not be treated like a department store going-out-of-business sale,” says Tina the Lesbian.

“Well, they’ve already been treated like a episode of American Idol or Dancing With the Stars,” I say.  “I don’t remember miscegenation laws being put to a popular vote.”

“At least maybe we can get something on the ballot next year to try and repeal Prop 8,” says Tina the Lesbian.  “I can’t believe I can get gay married in Iowa but not California.”

“I can,” I say.  “Look who they elect to be their governor there.  Richard Nixon.  Ronald Reagan.  The fucking Terminator.  There’s a whole lot of crazy in Cali.”

“Well, they did elect Harvey Milk,” says Tina the Lesbian.  “But then they shot him.  Yeah, I guess you’re right.  We shouldn’t look to California as a bellwether for anything.”

“So how have the Wheatley’s taken this news?”  I ask.

“Well, they’re happy that there won’t be any new California gay marriages threatening their wedded bliss,” says Tina the Lesbian.  “But they’re scared shitless of those gay couples who are still married by California law.”

“Why’s that?”  I say.

“Because I told the Wheatleys that the gays who are still married will come visit them in the night and force them to sign divorce papers at gay gunpoint,” Tina the Lesbian says.

I give Tina a disapproving look.  “You know they’re going to bug Samurai Cathy to protect them from the gay hordes now, right?”

“I was upset, all right?  Back off.”  says Tina the Lesbian.

The struggle for equality can get pretty ugly.





  1. I say let’s have cocktails and sleep with everyone’s husbands. Married studs are always hotter and hornier.

  2. But then you found out he did it so his wife could watch from the walk-in closet….

  3. Gay gun point is terrifying thing to endure…

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