Tag Larkin will not be silenced

May 28, 2009

Tag Larkin will not be silenced.

It doesn’t matter what the issue is, or whether Tag Larkin has any knowledge of said issue, Tag Larkin won’t be deterred from yelling very loudly about it. Even if no one has brought the issue up at all, for Tag Larkin is all about bringing such things to the surface of national conversation. Even if the issue doesn’t even exist in reality, for Tag Larkin is always ahead of the game. Tag Larkin will march in the street for whatever he’s thinking about at the time, even if he’s the only one marching. It doesn’t matter and you can’t do a damn thing about it because…

Tag Larkin will not be silenced.

When Tag Larkin goes to the movies and the little message pops up on the screen saying “Please silence your cell phones,” it infuriates Tag Larkin so much that he will steal the cell phone of someone else in the theater and use it to constantly call his own cell phone while the movie plays (Tag Larkin’s ringtone? The theme to Magnum P.I.). Why does Tag Larkin do this? Two reasons: 1) Tag Larkin doesn’t take orders from messages displayed on large screens and 2)…

Tag Larkin will be not be silenced.

Because Tag Larkin will not be silenced, Tag Larkin has been asked not to come back to the local library, art museum, city council meetings, children’s music and dance recitals, golf tournaments, chess tournaments, Jenga tournaments, and (just recently) a Tibetan monastery. Well, just because he’s been asked not to come back doesn’t mean he won’t, it just means that they’ll need more and larger men with better weapons to get him to leave next time. But even as Tag Larkin is being dogpiled by members of the SWAT team and forcibly removed from various premises Tag Larkin will let it be known to anyone within earshot that…

Tag Larkin will not be silenced.

Not even by laryngitis, because Tag Larkin also owns an air horn.





  1. What was Tag Larkin doing at a dance recital?

    • Drinking a six-pack of lager and waving money at the young girls. What else would Tag Larkin be doing?

  2. I bet Tag Larkin would be a hoot around the deaf.

  3. Tag Larkin can sign like a mofo… even silence cannot silence Tag Larkin

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