June is the gayest month

June 10, 2009

I just heard that June is officially Lesbian, Gay, BiSexual, and Transgender Pride Month in America. It was originally just Gay and Lesbian Pride Month in 2000 when Bill Clinton was still in office.  Seems Barack Obama added the Bi and Trans parts this year.

“June’s always been a good month for Gay Pride month,” says Tina the Lesbian.  “Summer’s beginning.  The weather’s warm.  High schoolers are graduating, and that’s usually a good time for kids to come out of the closet.  Fire up the pride parades.”

“A bit too warm for leather, don’t you think?” I say.

“Well, that’s why the chaps are assless,” says Tina the Lesbian.

“So do you find this to be a positive small step toward equality for gays and trannies and those open to experiment?”   I say.  “You’ve got your own month, just like how February is Black History Month.”

“Not really,” says Tina the Lesbian.  “Official months aren’t much.  I mean, June is also National Accordion Awareness Month too.  I don’t see accordions doing any better in the public eye.”

“Not outside of Polish sausage festivals and OctoberFest celebrations, no,” I say.  “Still, it must be nice to finally be pandered to.”

“I guess so,” says Tina the Lesbian.  “Now all we have to do is learn how to market LGBT Month as well as Black History month.  They don’t even get a full 30 day month but they make sure everyone know its Black History Month.”

“First off, it needs a better name,” I say.  “You can’t say LGBT Month.  LGBT sounds like it’s a television manufacturer, or a chain of yogurt stores.  Black History Month doesn’t fuck around, it gets right to the point.”

“It’s an all-inclusive abbreviation though,” says Tina the Lesbian.

“But it doesn’t spell anything and you have to explain it to most people,” I say.  “You need to reduce the whole thing to a punchy one-word term.  Like BiGayTransbian or Queerasaurus.”

“Queerasaurus?”  says Tina, raising a skeptical lesbian eyebrow at me.

“Yeah, it’s a dinosaur I invented that’s big enough to encompass the entire Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual, transgender community,” I say.  “Everyone loves dinosaurs.”

“We’re human beings, not lizards,” says Tina the Lesbian.

“Well, if you limit June to just being about gays and lesbians you can just call it Gay Pride Month and that would work,” I say.  “Let the Bi-sexuals and transgenders get their own months.  July could be for the Bisexuals and the Bi-Curious, August can be for the transgenders.  It could be a whole queer summer!”

“They’re never going to give transgenders their own month,” says Tina the Lesbian.  “Most Americans don’t understand it.  Likely their only experience of transgenderism comes from Buffalo Bill in The Silence of the Lambs, or maybe Hedwig and the Angry Inch if they’ve got particularly good taste in movies.”

“Unless you make the American public think that transgenders are like Transformers,” I say.  “We love giant transforming robots even more than we love dinosaurs.”

“Why do we have to link gays and transgendered people to dinosaurs and giant robots to gain understanding and acceptance?”  says Tina the Lesbian.

And I told her it’s for the same reason we do everything else in life: because it’s easier.  And that’s how these battles are won, by making things easy and simple.  I mean, look at Tag Larkin.  In his world there are no nuanced shades of gray.  Hell, there’s not even any black or white.  It’s all just Tag Larkin.

Reminder: every month is Tag Larkin Appreciation Month.





  1. It could just be “Not Republican” month.

  2. Re: Accordions.

  3. Sedpress, WTF?

    that’s the worst video I’ve ever seen

    • I know. It’s one of those things that’s kind of sublime in its badness, like Lawrence Welk or the Captain and Tennille singing “Muskrat Love.”

      There’s a secret story, but I will spare you.

  4. *phew*


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