Turn Back the Renal Clock – August 2007 Part Two

June 30, 2009

Quarterback Michael Vick is getting out of prison, but we remember what put him there in the first place and the part Bernie the Half-Cyborg Cat played in it.

The ladies of Renal Failure discuss the pros and cons of having an underwire surgically implanted to their ribs.

I don’t like having amateurs violate my civil liberties.  Only professionals may listen to my phone calls.  

Soon there will be a Fantasy League for everything, and we’ll be able to say we were there before everyone else.





  1. When is too much cheese deadly, and how does it kill?
    Does insect spray hurt? I’ve never been sprayed by them.
    My ass is on fire and it’s because Taco Bell is open!

  2. Cheese kills by first obstructing the bowels and then piles up until it fills your lungs and you drown. I would estimate that fatal cheese capacity is anywhere between one-third and one-half of your body weight, depending on the cheese.

    Insect spray only hurts if you’re of a delicate constitution, like a southern belle or foppish dandy.

    You should be worried if your ass isn’t on fire after Taco Bell. You might have burned it numb in that case.

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