The Fog of Shut The Hell Up

July 8, 2009

Regular Renal Readers will recall that one of my favorite phrases to yell is “Shut the fuck up, Colin!”  This is mainly because former Secretary of State Colin Powell knew the war in Iraq was a dumb idea and went along with it anyway, giving it an air of sensibility that tricked others into believing it was a good idea (just like my man-slave Tony Blair, who does whatever an American tells him). 

But I was so busy telling Colin Powell to shut the fuck up and telling Tony Blair to insert things into his ass that I never got around to calling up Vietnam War architect Robert S. McNamara and telling him to shut the fuck up.  Now he’s dead.  Sure, I could still tell him to shut the fuck up but it’s just not the same. 

What I find interesting is that after leaving his post as Secretary of Defense he found immediate work running the World Bank.  I mean, Tag Larkin has trouble applying for jobs because of his blatant drinking in public.  McNamara’s cock-ups were responsible for 58,000+ American deaths in Vietnam during his years as Secretary of Defense, yet he gets a nice cush job at the World Bank while Tag Larkin has to slum it at Chickensian Dystopia, dishing out Tale of Two Cities Chicken Strip combos and Nicholas Nickleby Nuggets for shit wages.

Then again, deputy Sec. of Defense during the Iraq War Paul Wolfowitz got a job at the World Bank too (which he fucked up as well).  I guess the lesson here is either the World Bank will hire fucking anyone or if you’re going to screw up do it huge because then no one will think you’re capable of screwing up that big again. 

Perhaps it’s something in American culture that rewards royally screwing up.  Might be a Protestant thing, like how it doesn’t matter how much you’ve fucked up in the past as long as you find Jesus and are Born Again.  It’s a big cosmic eraser on the whiteboard that tallies up your transgressions against the human race.  It sure explains why Newt Gingrich still shows up on television. 

(At least the Jews make you fast for an entire day for the same effect on Yom Kippur.  Come on, work a little for that clean slate.)

But screw up big enough and not only do your sins somehow don’t count against you, they are handsomely rewarded.  CEO’s run companies into the ground and are given golden parachutes. No one from any cable business channel like CNBC or Bloomberg of FoxBusiness lost their jobs (or committed suicide) after utterly failing to see the economic fuckstorm that hit us last year and continues fuckstorming (or stormfucking) us today.  No one paid any price in the Catholic Church for their complicity in covering up priests buggering children for decades.  And to this day Sherri Shepherd still draws a paycheck from The View after saying on national television that she doesn’t know if the world is round and that no one pre-dated Christians.

There seems to be an undercurrent in all these cases that these screw-ups were in service to a status quo that rewards allegiance to tenets like financial greed, militaristic lust, and devolving people’s intelligence for the good of some outdated authority.  Devote yourself to this cause hard enough and you’ll never have worry for work.  Case in point: the majority of political pundits on TV and in print.  The fact that Peggy Noonan is not starving in the streets is proof of this.

So if anyone asks why Avonia the Wiccan Pimp is over my house having a seance, it’s so I can tell Robert McNamara right to his ghostly face to shut the fuck up.  And then I’ll make him tell Colin Powell to shut the fuck up for not learning from the past.  A past he was there for, ass.




  1. Irony of ironies, he died almost 50 years to the day after the decision to can the Edsel, a project for which he was responsible while running Ford.


  2. You’ve obviously seen the Oscar winning documentary The Fog of War directed by Errol Morris. Given that it’s basically two hours of McNamarra talking to the camera, might it be a bad idea to watch this film with you?

  3. Thomas beat me to it


  4. I caught some of it once on one of the movie channels. Interesting from what little I saw, but I’d still be inclined to yell Shut the Fuck Up Robert quite a few times during it.

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