The Healing Power of Hurtful Words

July 23, 2009

In January we had a story about a kid starting a No Cussing Club in which we (Bernie and I) countered such a lame concept with a study where swearing at work cuts down on stress and promotes “team spirit,” along with the fact that euphamisms just aren’t hot during sex.

Now we pile on some more with a new study’s findings saying that swearing can also lessen the pain of an injury by increasing “pain tolerance.”  This would explain why you’re more apt to yell “fuck” after smashing your finger with a hammer than something more appropriate for network television, like ham or comb or pomegrante.

“It’s like a painkiller you activate with your voice,” I say.

“No wonder you swear so much,” says Bernie the Half-Cyborg Cat.  “You’re hooked on Verbal Morphine.”

“So I’m like Dr. House but instead of popping Vicodins I’m just saying ‘fuck’ a lot?”  I say.  “Does this mean I can start walking with a cane and a pronounced limp while being mean to everyone?”

“Your pain is more emotional than physical,” says Bernie.

“I have emotional pain?”  I say.  “Like what?”

“Well, first there’s the stabbing disappointment of where you are in life compared to where you thought you’d be,” Bernie says.  “Followed by the nagging regrets of decisions past that haunt you relentlessly.  Then there’s the deep gaping hole of self-loathing dug inside you from years of rejection, the unceasing feelings of utter worthlessness to the world and everyone in it, and the steady rain of social isolation eroding you down to the point where you wake up most days disappointed that you didn’t die in your sleep.”

*blink* *blink* *blink*

“So you’re saying I should swear more than I already do,”  I say.

“I’m saying every second or third word out of your mouth should be some sort of curse word,” says Bernie.

“Mother-cock-fucker…” I say, then I take a long drink.





  1. I swear by pomegranate

  2. bernie’s a bit of a cunt, isn’t he?

    • Cats can be cuntish. Then again, what RF character isn’t a bit of a cunt?

  3. I read a study in college that indicated swearing was only emotionally satisfying in one’s native language.

    Apparently if you’re From Lichtenstein and you swear in English you don’t get as much out of FUCK! as Americans do.

  4. WTF is not very satisfying.


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