They don’t call them drama queens for nothing

July 30, 2009

So the two male penguins Harry and Pepper at the San Francisco zoo have broken up, and over a woman no less.

“Great, another gay relationship ruined by excessive drama,” says Tina the Lesbian.

She has a point.  From what I’ve seen, gay relationships seem to have a lot more drama to them than straight ones.

“Is it because most of the homosexual community has a theater background?” I say.  “It would explain why the drama content of their relationships tends to be a bit higher than the hetero ones.”

“I can’t discount the theater theory completely,” says Tina.  “But I think it also has to do with society’s continued squeamishness about gays.  Being closeted is constant drama.  Homosexuality was classified as a mental disorder for years.  Hell, sodomy was illegal in many states.  That’s drama right off the bat.”

“And that drama carries over into the other parts of the relationship,” I say.  “Turning what would be a mild Five on the drama scale for heteros into a raging Eight-point-Six in the hands of homos.”

“Hey, straight people are known for their drama spikes too,” says Tina the Lesbian.  “Look at interracial dating.  There’s still a bit of a cultural taboo about it, thus it generates its own kind of drama.  And there’s so much drama bullshit with interracial gay dating that you’d need ten rocket-powered dildos blasting out of your ass to stay above it.”

“It’s like how people are for interracial relationships but have never been in one or haven’t tried to be in one,” I say.  “Deep down something’s telling them ‘hey, this is going to be trouble in brand new ways for you.'”

“What’ll their parents think?”  says Tina the Lesbian.  “What’ll their friends say?  What will others from my ethnic group do when they see us together?”

Not that any of this stops Anonymous Doug from hitting on Asian chicks.  He likes ’em all.  Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Filipino, Thai, Vietnamese… even a near-sighted Mexican lass who has lost her glasses.

“Still, drama can be exciting,” says Tina the Lesbian.  “Very exciting.”

“Of course, because drama is an oil well of excitement,” I say.  “You just hope that you’re drilling the good kind of drama, not the bad kind that turns people crazy and start arguments that don’t make any sense.”

“Who has more drama?”  Tina the Lesbian says.  “Straight singles or straight couples?”

“Tough to say in a quantity sense,” I say.  “I would say couples drama is more annoying and destructive.  Drama can end a coupling, but drama can’t make you anymore single than you already are.  Plus there’s only one person from which the drama spreads regarding singles drama.  Couples drama has two, doubling the rate of infection.  Quadrupling if they’re gay, because gay drama is a higher proof of drama than straight drama.”

“So gays are the Everclear of drama?”  says Tina the Lesbian.

“I think Everclear is legal in more states than sodomy,” I say.

“And you wonder why we have so much drama,” says Tina the Lesbian.




One comment

  1. I know two lesbians. They are not my friends. I just know their strap on, ass licking, cunt grabbing ways. I want to be a damn lesbian. Drama or not I’ll learn how to text faster.

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