Deartuate Your Monosyllabism

September 10, 2009

A site was brought to our attention by a friend of ours who’s also a regular Renal reader (she knows who she is, I made her laugh so hard during a game of Taboo that she snorted, and hopefully she will finally leave a comment here).   It’s called Save the Words and it’s about keeping lesser-used words alive.  Visitors to the site can adopt a word and pledge to use it “as frequently as possible and to the best of (their) ability.”  So I brought this up to two of the  more literate-minded Renal Failure players.

“When the hell am I going to use ducenarious in a sentence?”  says Avonia the Wiccan Pimp, referring to an adjective “pertaining to two hundred.”

“Moneywise, anal sex will cost you a ducenarious amount,”  I say.

“That’s just awkward,” says Avonia.  “And being a vocabulary prick as well.”

“There’s nothing veteratorian about it all,” says Tina the Lesbian, referring to an long word meaning subtle.  “But I don’t think I have the time or aiepathy to shoehorn in obscure words into daily conversations.”

“Can we say that Renal Failure is the home of tortiloquies and affictitious tales?”  says Avonia the Wiccan Pimp.

“Dishonest or immoral speech and artificial tales… yeah, but it’s not quite as catchy as saying wild fabrications and outright lies,” I say.

“I can’t say I’d be very lugent if some of these words went by the way side,” says Tina the Lesbian.  “Obstrilligate?  Are you really going miss that word?”

Just then Tag Larkin comes busting through the doors of the cafe we are sitting in, keleusmatically orders a bag of coffee beans, punches the bag repeatedly in a marvelous display of pugnastics, then pours a full bottle of Colt .45  into the bag.  Tag Larkin calls this his French Vanilla Forty.

“Only through Tag Larkin’s brand of plegnic brewing does Tag Larkin’s drink acheive its full flavor!”  announces Tag Larkin with much hirquitalliency.  “You cannot beat Tag Larkin’s odynometer rating.    Tag Larkin pessundates all!

After half a bag of his beverage, Tag Larkin proceeded to diffibulate his pants, expose his dodrantal surgation, and water the plants in the cafe in a mingent manner.  This brought all blateration to a halt in the cafe, and Tag Larkin was quaeritated to leave, which Tag Larkin did with much amarulence.

What we learned is that the heavy use of these obscure words can have a helctic effect on a blog post with a weak vappous concept, adimpleating a lot of space and phallerating the supposed intelligence of the writer.    And we don’t find that pudifying at all, you crassulent gleimous foppotee.

avonia smallnote



  1. if Tag Larkin keeps adopting words, Tag Larkin’s gonna sprout a va-jay-jay…

  2. What a demiurgic use of language!

  3. well shit…even the internet is having a hard time deciphering all those words. (couldn’t get the site to load…)

    love vocabulary words…

  4. Tag Larkin doesn’t read the dictionary, the dictio… oh come on we all know how this goes…

    • You don’t need a dictionary. Tag Larkin will tell you how to define and spell words. Merriam-Webster doesn’t have shit on Tag Larkin.

  5. Tag Larkin is my bezoardic to the blues

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