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But There’s No Whore School

September 17, 2009

I brought this article to the attention of Avonia the Wiccan Pimp about something called John School.  Apparently in Tennessee if it’s your first-time being arrested for soliciting a prostitute you can attend a “one-day program” about the dangers and problems of prostitution and then, after paying a $250 fine, if you don’t get caught trolling for hookers again for a year you can get the charge dismissed off your record.

“I don’t see them being that accommodating for first time hookers,” says Avonia.  “No one’s holding a class for them and dismissing their charges after  a year’s probationary period.”

“Sounds like traffic school,” I say.  “Like after a whole bunch of traffic violations you have to attend a class on not being a shitty driver.  Except in this case it’s about not buying whores.”

“But at least traffic school goes on for a number of classes,” says Avonia.  “This is one stinkin’ class.”

“They say it works great,” I say.  “The re-arrest rate for dudes in this program is supposed to be real low.”

“Or that just means they figured out the proper way to purchase the services of a hooker without getting caught,” says Avonia.  “Like going through me.”

But the obvious disparity between how johns are treated by law enforcement as opposed to hookers isn’t the only thing about the article that has Avonia’s dander up.  It’s this line in the article:  “Prostitution is based on the law of supply and demand. The thinking is: Women won’t stop selling sex until men stop buying.”

“Our entire capitalist system is based on selling sex,” says Avonia.  “You watch a commercial break on television, I bet you at least 75 percent of them are selling you sex along with their product.”

“90 percent if you’re a pedophile,” I say in agreement.  I figure ads for children’s clothes and sugary fruit juices and such are like soft-core porn to pedos.  “But maybe people don’t like it when sex is advertised directly.  They need to be sold sex and a beer, or sex and a car, or sex and a wireless phone plan.”

“If that we true there wouldn’t be all those commercials for Zyrtek or Cialis or Viagra,” says Avonia.  “We’re selling men their own erections back to them at jacked up pharmaceutical prices.”

“Does that make me proud or ashamed to be an American?”  I say.

“My point is men aren’t going to stop buying sex because sex is all anyone is selling,” says Avonia.  “Men are marketed and advertised to be constantly aroused.”

“Is that why I have an erection right now?”  I say.

Hey, I found a new way to abruptly end conversations!

avonia smallnote

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4 comments

  1. Do you still have that erection? I’d better inspect for priapism


  2. why don’t they develop and market an anti-boner medication? women could slip it into the oatmeal of the gnarly toothless grump who eats cialis like M&Ms and shuffles through the house with a weiner like a dowsing rod looking for poon… and they could give away samples at John School.


  3. Zyrtec is an antihistamine. (And right now, I’d cook it and mainline it.) I guess it would keep a guy from sneezing while he muffed.


    • Doh, I confused Zyrtec with Enzyte. Stupid Z’s.



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