This lady’s got some uncommonly broad shoulders…September 30, 2009
“Doug, do you ever wake up and feel like a fraud?” I say with a sigh.
“What? Like a trannie?” says Anonymous Doug. “Well, not in the morning. Maybe late at night, after a lot of drinks, but it was really dark in the bar.”
“Um, no I wasn’t-”
“The adam’s apple is usually the giveaway,” continues Anonymous Doug. “But if they got that covered with a turtleneck top or jewelry the next best thing is the feet.”
“Doug, this isn’t-”
“Because for all the make-up and costuming trannies do, they can’t fix those awful man feet of theirs,” says Anonymous Doug. “They ain’t like women’s feet. Real women’s feet, I mean. Paint ’em, shave ’em, do what you want to ’em but I can pick a dude’s feet out of a lineup every damn time.”
“You do know your feet, no doubt about that,” I say. “But I’m not talking about trannies.”
“Well maybe you should be,” says Anonymous Doug. “Few things ruin a night like gender identity issues. Even worse in the morning. I know if I woke up next to a trannie, my whole day would probably be shot to hell.”
Leave it to an anonymous man to put things in perspective.