Breathe deep the gathering boob

November 30, 2009

“Some woman invented a bra that doubles as a gas mask,”  I say.  “In case of emergency, the bra detaches in two and you breathe into the cup.”

“What happens to the other bra cup?”  asks Anonymous Doug.

“You can give it to your guy friend,” I say.

“Well, that’s better than inventing a cup protector that doubles as a gas mask,”  says Anonymous Doug.  “I’m not sure I’d be willing to breathe through that thing.  I might decide just to suffocate.”

“Women are getting all the cool clothes,”  I say.  “First the tactical corset, now the gas mask bra.  What’s the next step in tactical fashionwear?”

“Machine gun Manolo handbags,”  says Anonymous Doug.  “Which will be the only interesting thing about a handbag ever.”

“I’m hoping it’s something boot-related,”  I say.  “Or maybe lingerie that has the strength of a bungie cord, in case you need some impromptu rope in a crisis.”

“That’s why I always keep rope in the trunk of my car,”  says Anonymous Doug.

Your definition of “crisis” greatly varies from Anonymous Doug’s.



One comment

  1. I once used a bra to make Athole Brose (you have to strain the oatmeal and whisky mixture several times). Do you think I could get a patent on that?

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