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Is this the Tag Larkin decade?

December 7, 2009

As this decade comes to an end, there is still no consensus on what to name it.  The naughts?  The millennials?  The decade from hell according to Time Magazine?   But there’s one name we know this decade is not getting:

The Tag Larkin decade.

Now you might think that this is the perfect decade to be named the Tag Larkin decade, considering you didn’t know who Tag Larkin was before this particular 10-year stretch of history.   And that’s where you’d be wrong because you’ve forgotten that Tag Larkin is eternal.  Come on people, remember what you’ve read here.

You may dispute the claim of Tag Larkin being eternal, but it’s a fool’s battle as are all battles vs. Tag Larkin and the claims of Tag Larkin.  Were you there at the beginning of time?  No?  Then shut up because Tag Larkin was and you can’t prove otherwise.

Tag Larkin is the Alpha and Omega and all the Greek letters in between, so to assign a singular decade to Tag Larkin is an insult not just to Tag Larkin but to the entirety of time itself.  It’s like flipping the finger at the Renaissance, the Bronze Age, and the Jurassic Period all at the same time, with splash damage to every other era  of the earth’s history as well.

Yes, Tag Larkin’s drivers’ license says he’s 30, because if it said infinity on it no one would be able to comprehend it.  And then they wouldn’t serve him booze at the liquor store on the occasions that Tag Larkin shows his ID when asked instead of smashing a bottle of pinot grigio in the clerk’s face for his impudence.

White wine goes with fish and assault, and Tag Larkin goes with everything every time everywhere.

This is not the Tag Larkin decade.  This is just another decade Tag Larkin has allowed to occur.

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4 comments

  1. so why didn’t Tag make it suck less? (or is it “suckless”?)


    • Tag Larkin does not concern himself with such matters. Tag Larkin concerns himself with Tag Larkin.


  2. I’m told that Tag Larkin can speak braille.


  3. That ‘splash damage’ of which you speak…. is that Tag Larkin’s excess sperm?



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