The Mulligan DecadeDecember 9, 2009
Mulligan as in the term for a do-over in golf, not that Irish Catholic family down the block with eight kids.
Tina the Lesbian came up with the term Mulligan Decade because she thinks that if the world had the chance to get a do-over of the last ten years we’d take it in a heartbeat.
“Especially America,” says Tina the Lesbian. “We got so much shit wrong that not even electing our first black president was enough to make up for it. Our reaction to 9/11, the War in Iraq, Abu Ghraib, Guantanamo Bay, fucking up the global economy…”
“Yeah, but Iowa and Massachusetts legalized gay marriage,” I say. “You got that.”
“Yeah, but California and New York banned it,” says Tina the Lesbian. “God is supposed to sink San Francisco into the ocean for being a modern-day Sodom and Gomorrah, but they’re not where gays can get married. Even Maine repealed their gay marriage law. You can a fuck a lobster in Maine but you can’t marry your gay lover. Un-fucking-believable.”
“When did this whole gay marriage movement actually begin?” I ask. “The 90’s?”
“It was the first I heard of it,” says Tina. “After Clinton signed that Defense of Marriage Act bullshit.”
“Because compared to other civil rights movements it seems like gay marriage is ahead of schedule,” I say. “It took eighty years and a civil war to ban slavery. Took almost 150 years for women to get the right to vote. And then there was the Civil Rights movement in the 1950’s and 60’s, with all that violence and bullshit. It takes a lot of time and effort to subdue old bad ideas enough to overthrow the paradigms they’ve created.”
“Can we at least get gays in the military next decade?” says Tina the Lesbian. “Give us something here. We can’t have another Mulligan Decade. We got to get shit right this time around.”
I think that’s what we’ll name the next decade… The Decade To Get Shit Right.