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A decade of children being named

December 28, 2009

The top 50 baby names of the decade in America are in and, despite Renal Failure’s popularity, the name Tag did not make it onto the list for either boys or girls.  Now we’ve never known a girl to be named Tag but I don’t see why they couldn’t be.  Apparently girls are being named Riley (#17), so why not Tag?

Then again, Tag Larkin says there can be only one Tag.  Remember what he did to Tagg Romney and Trig  and Track Palin for having names too close to his? (note: President Obama, Tag Larkin is still waiting for his thank you note/presidential pardon)

Not as much of a surprise, Mikka did not crack the top 50.  Neither did Bernie (or Bernard) or Doug (or Douglas) or Avonia.  More surprising was that Tina the Lesbian’s full name of Christina did not make the list (or Christine for that matter… did that Stephen King book about the killer car ruin that name or something?).  But at least Kylie’s on the list at #38, probably on the resurgence of Australia’s second-hottest export Kylie Minogue (the first hottest export from Australia are Nursemyra’s Corset Fridays).

In regards to Ninja Vicki and Samurai Cathy’s names… Victoria made the list at #43 and Katherine made it on at #41, but Ninja Vicki says that doesn’t count because it’s spelled with a “K” so she wins by default.  I’m inclined to agree with her, and not just because Ninja Vicki has had a shitty 2009 and should win at least one thing before the year is out.  Spelling counts.

Psycho Dave’s nomenclature made it as #43 on the boys side (the David part, not the psycho part).  And my first and middle names made it on there too but I’m not saying what they are (and for anyone who knows don’t spoil it for everyone else).  One hint, it’s not Jaden.  Weird… Braydon, Jaden, Aiden, Caden… but not enough people had the balls to name their child Raiden, god of thunder and protector of the realm of Earth from the Mortal Kombat games.  The dude shoots lightning and teleports for the love of Tag.

Next decade we want to see the name Snake on the Top 50.

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9 comments

  1. My name’s on there too, and no one had my name when I was little. But then again, I mean, chances are all of those parents out there met me at some point in the past ten years and decided they wanted their children to be just like me. I would do that. Make my children just like me.


    • Because I am fucking awesome.


  2. My name is not on the list which surprises me since I run into Jennifers all over the web. It was always in the top five when I was younger. Not surprising is that both of my kids names are on the list. Personally I’m waiting for the resurgence of names like Edith, Edna, Walter and Stanley.


  3. I notice that Ebeneezer, Obedia and Abedlego also aren’t on the list. Those are all names that my father wanted to give me. My mother talked him into naming me after his grandfather, Thomas.

    I love my mommy.

    On the other hand, I would be one tough motherfucker if I’d have to grow up with a name like Ebeneezer.


  4. I’ll guess that you are a “Noah Makayla”. but seriously, how the fuck did “noah” make #19, let alone the top 50?


  5. And when did Gavin become popular again?

    shit! I didn’t know about Raiden, but we have a Zaiden in our family.


  6. Your first and middle names are on the list? You mean there are people out there calling their kids Renal and [blank]? Wow. That’s hard-core.


  7. ‘but not enough people had the balls to name their child Raiden, god of thunder and protector of the realm of Earth from the Mortal Kombat games. The dude shoots lightning and teleports for the love of Tag’

    I blame Christopher Lambert… but then again I blame most things on him.


  8. what new age puke put this list together? [heavy sigh]



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