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See G-Spot. See G-Spot Run.

January 12, 2010

So there’s this article about a study saying that the G-Spot is a myth, and that has us talking here at the Failure.  Time for another panel discussion.

“G-Spot or not, there’s something in there,”  I say.  “You have to do that thing where you insert a finger then curl it upward like you’re telling someone to come over here and there’s a small spot  in there that feels different than everything else.  Until I hear otherwise, I’m calling that the G-Spot.”

“Yeah, well good luck getting a penis to hit it,” says Mikka.  “I think I need to evolve my dick so that it can change direction mid-vagina, like some sort of fleshy plumber’s snake.”

“Maybe the G-spot is like Tinkerbell,” says Ninja Vicki.  “Like when Tinkerbell drinks the poison in Peter Pan and he asks all the children to clap and believe in fairies.  It’s like that, but instead of Tinkerbell coming back to life you get a really awesome orgasm.” 

“Hey, the article says the study ‘discounted the experiences of lesbian or bisexual women,'”  says Tina the Lesbian.  “What the hell?  Who knows vaginas better than lesbians and bisexual women?  We handle more boxes than FedEx.”

“The article also says the G-spot shouldn’t be the only focus in lovemaking,” says Avonia the Wiccan Pimp.  “And that is true because everyone is different when it comes to getting off.   Your signature move might work on one person but not do a thing for someone else.  I had a boyfriend in college who really liked it when I stuck a finger or two up his ass to milk his prostate during love.  My husband… not so much.”

After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, we return to our discussion.

“Maybe G-spots are like birthmarks,”  says Samurai Cathy.  “Some people get them, some people don’t.  Or you have to develop one, like with those keigel muscle exercises.”

“Please… scientists have yet to determine what makes us purr,” says Bernie the Half-Cyborg Cat.  “You think they’re going to come to a consensus about some secret pleasure patch in a vagina?”

“The G-Spot is a low-percentage play,”  says Anonymous Doug.  “Some girls don’t want you digging around down there like an archeologist looking for some lost civilization.  Working the clitoris has served me just fine for years and it will continue to do so.”

“When Tag Larkin fucks you, everything is a G-Spot,”  says Tag Larkin.

This topic will need further field research.  Clinical studies will be held down at the Super 8 Motel by the convention center.  Apply within and Tag Larkin will apply within you.

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5 comments

  1. They’re a bunch of haters, those article-writers. Women have spent centuries building up this conspiracy, and they’ve got to go fuck everything up and shut it down. It’s our only defense against sexism. All that hard work for nothing.

    Horseshit.


  2. a man with a “K”-shaped penis can write his own ticket…


  3. Eppur si muove, as Galileo said, quite appropriately to this discussion as he was in an argument about whether the earth moved.

    I bet they didn’t ask any sex workers either. And how exactly did they go about “looking” for it? With forks and hope?


  4. I need more specific directions to that motel….


  5. […] 29, 2010 by sledpress Renal Failure recently blogged this matter, so I risk being regarded as a cheesy imitator, but then, how often is […]



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