Things aren’t good… they just suck less

January 27, 2010

With the State of the Union address coming tonight I figured it was a good time to ask Tina the Lesbian if she’s been disappointed with the Obama presidency so far, considering there have been no roving patrols of Black Panther commie abortionists taking away people’s guns and rounding people up to be gay married against their will.

“I hadn’t occurred to me that I should be disappointed that Obama didn’t make that happen,”  said Tina the Lesbian.  “I was busy being disappointed with other things he hasn’t done.  Like not repealing the ban on gays in the military, not closing Guantanamo Bay, not getting any meaningful financial regulations restored, no progress on health care…”

“So is this buyer’s remorse, like the screaming heads on TV and radio like to scream about?”  I say.

“Hardly,”  says Tina the Lesbian.  “I have a little card in my pocket at all times.  Anytime I have the inkling that I shouldn’t have voted for Obama in ’08 I pull out the card and read it, and it says ‘Is Sarah Palin the Vice-President?’   I answer ‘no’ and I feel so much better.”

“Yeah, that makes me feel better too,”  I say. 

“And it’s not like I ever expected Obama to magically fix everything,”  says Tina the Lesbian.  “I’ve figured the odds of a Democrat doing something right is 1-in-4, and that’s being generous because they often don’t do shit.  But I also know the odds of a Republican doing something wrong is 19-in-20.”

“So you’re saying you’re disappointed in Republicans for the things they do, and in the Democrats for the things they don’t do?”  I say.  “What about third party candidates?”

“I don’t even bother being disappointed with them,”  says Tina the Lesbian.  “As a lesbian my life is already chocked full of disappointments.  I don’t need any more.” 

“So what do you expect out of the State of the Union address?”  I ask.

“I don’t know, I’m not watching it,”  says Tina the Lesbian.  “It’s women’s college basketball season.”

“If I told you that during his speech Obama was going to fire a rifle into the ceiling of the House of Representatives and declare that it was Honkey Hunting Season, would you watch it then?”  I say.

“No, because Tag Larkin did that at the bank last week when they refused to give him a loan becaue they wouldn’t accept stolen women’s panties as collateral*,”  says Tina the Lesbian. 

Well at least someone is standing up those fucking banks…

*Banks in Japan, however, will accept stolen panties as collateral…



  1. i’m making up my “Is Sarah Palin Vice President?” card right away. there is comfort there….

  2. How the hell did Tag Larkin make his way into my underwear drawer?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: