The Start of Summer… But Not For EveryoneMay 31, 2010
It’s Memorial Day here in the States, formerly known as Decoration Day but if you remember last year’s Memorial Day post you’d know they changed the name because it sounded gay. And this year we got our Memorial Day barbecues done early so we could spend this day off from our jobs (unless you’re Mikka, who was off anyway because he lost his job) actually thinking about soldiers who died in service to our country, and we discovered we didn’t know any of them personally.
“I might have an uncle or someone on my dad’s side of the family who fought and died in a war,” says Anonymous Doug. “The problem is that the anonymous gene is on that side of the family so there’s no way for me to know who they are. I’m going to assume they’re buried at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.”
“The closest I have is a uncle who was wounded in Vietnam,” says Ninja Vicki. “I don’t get to see him much because my ninja outfit reminds him of the Vietcong and it gives him panic attacks.”
“Do contractors like Blackwater count being remembered for Memorial Day?” says Bernie the Half-Cyborg Cat. “I don’t think they do but I’d feel better with an official ruling on that.”
“I think one time I hooked up with a girl who got kicked out of the Navy for being a lesbian,” says Tina the Lesbian. “But I don’t think Memorial Day covers that, at least not yet.”
“I feel very fortunate no one I knew from high school died in a war,” says Mikka, who is from Finland so all his family war dead that he knows about was probably during the Lapland War with Germany near the end of World War II. “Though I know a few who died in drunk driving accidents, random bar fights, and drug overdoses. And there was that girl who was beaten to death by her abusive husband…”
“I know more people who’ve had cancer than died in a war,” says Samurai Cathy. “I’m not sure if that’s saying we lose less people in war than we once did or that cancer has become too prevalent in modern times.”
“But it’s likely you know someone who knows someone you don’t know who died in a war,” says Avonia the Wiccan Pimp. “So if you think of it like that Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon game then you do know someone who died in war three or four links down the Six Degrees chain.”
I don’t personally know any war dead either, but I do know there’s some good deals on air conditioners, sundresses, and Blu-Ray movies at Target today. I’m not sure if using a day to commemorate fallen soldiers to move merchandise is an indictment of capitalist greed or a golden display of its power. I am sure I’m going to be nice and cool when I sit down to watch Apocalypse Now in high definition.