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If I included more glittery, shirtless men and pathetic wish fulfillment, I’d be Stephenie Meyer

July 14, 2010

We ran my recent post where I called the excretion known as David P. Sanger of the New York Times the “Grover Dill to BP’s Scut Farkus” through this thing called I Write Like, which tells you what author your writing sample most resembles. We got this…

I write like
H. P. Lovecraft

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

I’m not sure what the criteria for such a judgment is, because when we put in our post about Touchdown Jesus going up in flames and the theological questions a giant burning half-buried Jesus raises, we got this…

I write like
Chuck Palahniuk

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

And when we put in our post about kicking women in the crotch so hard that their womb shatters, we get this…

I write like
Stephen King

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

From this I can gather that I should write about Chthulu holding his own fight club at the Overlook Hotel… or that my writing style defies classification… or that maybe this site just throws out random authors at you.

EXTRA:  This post on Tag Larkin gives me this….

I write like
Kurt Vonnegut

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

Interesting… sometimes Tag Larkin does read like Breakfast of Champions…

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11 comments

  1. Hah! Those losers wish they wrote like Renal Failure.


  2. Jane Barcroft writes like David Foster Wallace, whoever the hell he is. Or Chuck Palahniuk. When she writes dialogue she writes like Margaret Atwood.

    But Sledpress writes like William Gibson.

    None of these are people whose books I’ve ever read, which disturbs me. (At least I’ve heard of Margaret Atwood; that’s something.) I envy you for writing like H. P. Lovecraft.


    • Early Gibson is good, like Neuromancer. Later Gibson, like Spook Country, is boring dreck. I got mad at that book for wasting my time.


  3. i’d do this, but i’m afraid it would come back with “You write like a functionally retarded sandwich artist from ‘Subway'”.


    • So you write like Dan Brown? My friend already got that one.


  4. Dear god. Some of my posts have Barabara Cartland all over them. I just need more blue eyeshaddow and a poodle.


  5. nursemyra writes like David Foster Wallace and she’s proud and honoured by the comparison


    • We must have been drinking the same kool-aid at some past point…


  6. It tells me I write like Edgar Allen Poe. I’m not sure I like this. I’m going to try another post.


  7. I’m varying between Tolstoy, HP Lovecraft, David Foster Wallace, and Cory Doctorow.



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