The Autistic Don’t Understand Why You’re Punching Them, They Just Know That It Really HurtsSeptember 25, 2010
America is the land of sociopaths. Not that sociopaths don’t exist elsewhere or can’t be worse than the USA model of sociopath, but the spiteful “Fuck You” motto of America among other lesser factors allows us to develop a much more potent sociopathic beast, sort of like how everyone can throw a baseball but only a minuscule number of people receive the training and the opportunities to become a major league pitcher.
I mention this because of an unearthed video from last year of Nevada Republican Senate candidate Sharron Angle, who regular Renal Readers will remember as the political candidate who thinks that you being raped – even by a blood relative – is part of God’s plan and that when God’s plan comes to fruition you should take those rape lemons and make rape lemonade (or that special pink incestuous rape lemonade) instead being free to have an abortion. Her latest uncovered diddy regards health care and health mandates.
“The second one is… Take off the mandates for coverage in the state of Nevada and all over the United States. You know what I’m talking about. You’re paying for things that you don’t even need. They just passed the latest one, is everything that they want to throw at us now is covered under ‘autism’. So, that’s a mandate that you have to pay for. How about maternity leave? I’m not going to have anymore babies, but I sure get to pay for it on my insurance. Those are the kinds of things that we want to get rid of.”
“Did she actually use sarcastic air quotes when mentioning autism?” Ninja Vicki says, stunned. “She did? Wow… that is really horrible. Nothing ever good is implied when putting something in those air quotes, or in ‘scare quotes’ in a textual medium. Dude, bring back her primary opponent who said we could pay for health care with chickens because she’s a less deplorable person than Ms. ‘Fuck the Autistic’ here.”
“Hey, crazy lady, I know the autistic don’t necessarily vote in high numbers, but their friends and families and other people with any amount of empathy do,” says Bernie the Half-Cyborg Cat. “There really is no upside to your ‘Fuck the Autistic’ platform, Ms. Angle. You were already getting the sociopathic vote with your stand that rape victims should have their rapists babies.”
“I need to ask at what point does someone stop being a conservative and start being a sociopathic monster?” says Tina the Lesbian. “There’s a sociopath line for all political persuasions, but it seems that you don’t have to travel that far to hit it for conservatism or libertarianism. It’s like the Express Lane for assholes. This is actually worse than the Republican who said that babies with born with disabilities were God’s revenge against their parents for them having abortions.”
“I think she said the autism shit to distract us from her other bullshit about not wanting the state to cover maternity leave,” says Avonia the Wiccan Pimp. “So if we follow what would ideally happen in Sharron Angle’s world: I would be raped as per God’s plan, be forced to carry and deliver the rape baby, and then have to immediately jump right back to my shitty job as soon as that baby leaves my womb because I wouldn’t have any maternity leave. Oh, and also if the child ends up being autistic, tough shit ’cause it ain’t covered. Please someone tell me how she still has people willing to vote for her.”
“So if she doesn’t want her tax money to pay for maternity leave because she won’t have any more kids from her barren womb, does that mean gays don’t have to pay local school district taxes because they don’t have children?” says Mikka. “Buttsex for tax relief… how many straight dudes would get behind that?”
“Paying for things you don’t need is called being part of society,” says Samurai Cathy. “I don’t have a car, but my tax money goes to maintaining our highways and I’m cool with that because almost definitely someone who might benefit me or society at large might use the highways, like say someone delivering food to our supermarkets or vaccines to our doctors. This is what it means to be a functional adult.”
“Maybe if we armed the autistic then she’d have a better opinion of them,” says Anonymous Doug. “She’s the woman who coined the phrase ‘2nd Amendment remedies‘, so maybe if we get the autistic to exercise their right to bear arms they won’t be such easy targets of psychopaths running for public office. A gun in every autistic hand, and ten minutes to Wapner! That’s my campaign slogan.”
There have been rumors that Tag Larkin is autistic. While he does have “unusual speech patterns” and the “inability to take another’s perspective,” he does not have “a high pitched of flat intonation;” we’re pretty sure he understands tone of voice and body language as a way of expressing sarcasm, humor, irony, etc.,” but he just doesn’t care; and any “lack of eye contact” Tag Larkin has is mainly due to him looking at your tits. Plus Tag Larkin sucks at Blackjack because Tag Larkin plays by his own rules.