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There are no Festivus Miracles, there’s just averted Festivus incidents

December 22, 2010

We got an early Festivus present from T-Lott Posse member Kyknoord, as he granted us the Silver Award of the Church of Cayennetology along with fellow T-Lott Posse member Daisyfae.  The sole Gold Award winner was Nursemyra, which is exactly what we here at Renal Failure expected because… well, it’s Nursemyra.

So to celebrate this recognition by who we think is our only South African reader, we present him with a lesson in speaking Japanese…

We think she’s the type of girl Mikka would really like, if he weren’t already dating a samurai.  And that works better for Mikka, especially since this year Tag Larkin was throwing the yearly Festivus party.  It wasn’t hosted at Tag Larkin’s abode, wherever that is, but at the local strip club because they already have aluminum poles to celebrate around.  The airing of grievances was drowned out by the thumping bass of some dance number accompanying the gyrations of a 19-year old pre-med student wearing only a Santa hat and going by the name of Peppermint.   Then came the Feats of Strength, which no one was looking forward to because it meant attempting to pin Tag Larkin.  Luckily we found a loophole where we bought Tag Larkin a lap dance and got Peppermint to bury her boobs in Tag Larkin’s face and push him back so that his shoulders were pinned to the back of his chair for a three count, thus bringing Festivus to a glitter-covered close.

Tag Larkin always wins Festivus.

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7 comments

  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Super_Funny_T. Super_Funny_T said: There are no Festivus Miracles, there’s just averted Festivus incidents: We got an early Festivus present from T… http://bit.ly/iiZV1A […]


  2. Clever loophole, that. Peppermint should consider changing her name to Lifesaver.


    • If she does, may I have Peppermint as my new nickname?


  3. So the male-stripper in a santa hat is called “Spearmint”?


  4. I do not understand this post.


  5. We have Gingerbread Subdivision parties, where we make cookie houses, get drunk, read erotic novels to each other and then play hurricane and destroy everything. It’s like Festivus. We have a huge rock paper scissors tournament to determine who hosts, because that schmuck has a lot of cleaning up to do.



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