Sorry, but your personal autonomy has been overruled by your tube top and high heels

February 27, 2011

Hey, who all remembers that post we had in early March we discussed a story out of Virginia about a church handing out pamphlets to women telling them that dressing immodestly was sinful and that they would be to blame if they got raped because of their slutty wardrobe choices?  Well, you should because 1) Renal Failure is so awesome that you must remember everything we do, and 2) a judge in Canada seems to be using that pamphlet in reducing the sentence of a convicted rapist.

Queen’s Bench Justice Robert Dewar called Rhodes a “clumsy Don Juan” who may have misunderstood what the victim wanted when he forced intercourse along a darkened highway outside Thompson in 2006.

Rhodes and a friend met the 26-year-old woman and her girlfriend earlier that night outside a bar under what the judge called “inviting circumstances.” Dewar specifically noted the women were wearing tube tops with no bra, high heels and plenty of makeup.

“They made their intentions publicly known that they wanted to party,” said Dewar. He said the women spoke of going swimming in a nearby lake that night “notwithstanding the fact neither of them had a bathing suit.”

“Ah yes, the tube top,” says Tina the Lesbian. “The magical wardrobe piece that says ‘yes, it’s all right to violate me.’ Last summer I bought a tube top and it came with its own rape kit, just to save me time.”

“No, it’s not just the tube top,” says Ninja Vicki. “It’s the whole ensemble of tube top, high heels, and lots of make-up that transforms rape into a mere misunderstanding according to Judgey McRapeLiker.”

“And don’t forget the woman’s public intentions of partying,” says Avonia the Wiccan Pimp. “That’s the final and most important part to add to this magic potion that mitigates the gravity of sexual assault. Because if you’re a woman in a tube top and heels and makeup and don’t want to party, then your rapist will receive the full sentence the law allows. But once you declare yourself ready to party, then your rapist is just clumsy and confused.”

“And don’t forget the intention of swimming in a lake without having a bathing suit,” says Samurai Cathy. “The mere suggestion of skinny-dipping makes you partially culpable for your own rape. If only she had declared her intention to balance her checkbook or read to the blind instead…”

“Yeah, with all those factors it’s like this judge is saying the victim hit the Rape Lottery,”  says Tina the Lesbian.  “She correctly selected all six lotto numbers and the Power Ball, but instead of winning a hundred million dollar her clumsy Don Juan rapist doesn’t do any jail time.”

“I’m not familiar with the particulars in the stories about Don Juan, but I’m pretty sure he didn’t bang any women on the side of a dark highway in any of them,”  says Ninja Vicki.  “But I guess that’s what makes our perpetrator the Clumsy Don Juan… you know, along with the whole non-consensual sex thing.”

Avonia points to this section of the story for comment…

Defence lawyer Derek Coggan told court it’s clear alcohol was a factor for both his client and the victim in terms of their ability to make good judgments.

“She had a very different understanding of what was in the accused’s mind than he did,” said Coggan. He said Rhodes never threatened the woman, didn’t have a weapon and was simply “insensitive to the fact (she) was not a willing participant.”

“Kind of like how murderers are insensitive to the fact that people want to live,”  says Avonia the Wiccan Pimp.  “Or how abusive husbands are insensitive to the fact that their wives don’t want to be punched in the face.”

“Sadly, this explanation makes a lot more sense than the whole tube top/heels/makeup/party time/skinny dipping jambalaya of bullshit that the Canadian judge came up with regarding why Mr. Clumsy Don Juan shouldn’t serve any jail time,”  says Samurai Cathy.  “Is that what Whoopi Goldberg was being stupid about on The View when discussing what Roman Polanski did was rape but not rape-rape?  It’s still rape, but at least he didn’t have a knife at the victim’s throat while doing it, even though she was wearing a tube top.  That would have been rape-rape.  And we don’t tolerate that one bit, Mister!”

And thus again here at Renal Failure we find that the best way to demonstrate the dumbness of others is not with dismissal but with a full exploration of how far the rabbit hole of stupidity really goes.  And it goes really far down too.



  1. Making sense out of nonsense is a lost cause. Reminds me of the part in Firesign Theatre’s Everything You Know Is Wrong with “Daredemon Rebus Cannibus and his death defying leap…to the center of the Earth.” :shock:

  2. Justice Robert Dewar is asking for anal rape, with no courtesy spit, by wearing that sexy satiny black robe and talking about tube tops.

    • Set The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo upon him daisyfae ;-)

  3. Ugh… I wish somebody would dress Justice Robert Dewar in a tube top and drop him a dark alley in Harlem.

    @daisyfae: :D LOL… Awesome.

  4. Justice Robert Dewar is full of shit. I wear a tube top all the time and my virtue is still intact.

  5. Wait. Wait just a darn minute.

    There were women, okay. In 2006. Above the age of 18. Wearing tube tops. Wow. Sluts.

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