The selective outrage wheel has landed on murderous mothers in Florida

July 10, 2011

“Did you follow any of this Casey Anthony stuff on the news?”  I say.

“No, because I have better things to do with my time, like being a ninja,”  says Ninja Vicki.

“I didn’t either, but the day of the not guilty verdict my damn Facebook erupted with all sorts of wails and howls of injustice from people I know,”  I say.  “And all I could really think as I saw all these hysterical status updates was that there are surely other dead children out there whose murderers will not be caught and punished who won’t register a single blip on their emotional radar.”

“My rule is that if Nancy Grace is covering it, it’s not important to my life,”  says Ninja Vicki.  “Furthermore, if Nancy Grace is covering some criminal case and she starts demonizing the accused, place your money on the accused getting off.”

“CNN Headline News is like the anti-matter of news networks,”  I say.  “If they’re covering it, it’s not relevant to your life.  And that’s probably a good standard to go by for most other cable news networks as well.”

“It’s like you said last August, news is now an emotional enema for people,” says Ninja Vicki.  “News shows are not there to inform, they’re there to give people an opportunity to feel emotions in a comfortable setting where nothing is personally at stake for them.”

“Exactly, and the emotional outburst for the Casey Anthony verdict fell along two distinct lines,” I say.  “Mothers were so upset about the verdict and wanted to cry, and guys were pissed off about the verdict and openly wished for Casey to get shanked in the street.  It was an interesting view of how differently men and women deal with this sort of irrelevant media-driven dreck.”

Ninja Vicki gives me a funny look because she is a woman but – as previously stated – she is also a ninja, meaning her first instinct is to sink sharp objects into people, so I correct myself by saying it was an interesting view of how differently men and women who are not ninjas deal with this sort of irrelevant media-driven dreck.

“So I guess now we’re just waiting for another blonde white girl to go missing so this whole news frenzy hype process can begin again,”  says Ninja Vicki.

I guess we could devote our efforts to topics of more importance to the population, but I don’t think our brains really want to grasp the horrors of  ecological disaster, the slow slide to global financial ruin for everyone not already a millionaire, or the de-evolution of the last 300 or so years of social progress.  When you look into the abyss, the abyss looks back into you, and your brain says “Holy shit, that’s scary, let’s forget we ever did that and go look for a less scary abyss to look into.”



  1. after the verdict, Nancy Grace was rumored to be curled up in a fetal position inside the CNN restrooms, smeared with her own feces, muttering “Tot Mom…. TOT MOM!” while sucking her thumb.

  2. do I need to know who Nancy Grace is?

    • you’ll be happier if you don’t.

      • Yes my dear nurse, be fortunate you do not have Nancy Grace in Australia, or your hemisphere for that matter. Be very fortunate.

  3. I hadn’t even heard of the damn trial until everyone got pissed on The Face, and I’m like, who’s Anthony Casey? And they tried to crucify me, the bastards, and I pointed out that they were idiots with no lives who just complained about things instead of doing things.

    Whatever, if it’s not in a movie, I don’t know it. So Lifetime: get on it.

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