Repost: Of course I care! Do you not see my American flag t-shirt with the weeping bald eagle on the back?

September 12, 2011

Because our feelings about the 10-year anniversary of the 9/11 attacks aren’t any different than our feelings from the 9-year anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, we’re reposting last year’s post on the topic. Enjoy.


We didn’t put up a post on 9/11 so I guess that makes us bad Americans, or it could just mean that we’re able to get through our day without slinging around empty platitudes on our Facebook updates.  “Never Forget 9/11!”  then followed by “OMG, JERSEY SHORE’S ON TONIGHT! JWOWW RULEZ!”  I guess if you can’t watch eight of the most awful human beings to ever set foot on MTV (and that’s saying something) embarrass Italian-Americans nationwide everywhere then the terrorists have won.

Anyway, we at Renal Failure spent our 9/11/10 like we spent our 9/11/01, getting drunk, and we decided to have a roundtable discussion on when 9/11 had stopped being a national tragedy and had mutated into something else, whether a day of kitsch (as Lora over at Fever astutely noted), or an excuse to be a self-entitled jingoist asshole,  or as a rhetorical device to be used by people with the emotional and intellectual capacity of an abused child who eats paint chips.

“I think it was when I heard the first person say 9/11 changed everything,”  says Ninja Vicki.  “At that point it stopped being a tragedy and became an excuse for people to run with any dumb shit that their brain could piss out.  Like all the laws of physics and logic had ceased to exist and in this postmodern void you could say and do whatever your fear desired if only you could abandon your senses of self-awareness and decency.”

Note: Tag Larkin had not adhered to the laws of physics or logic prior to 9/11, and thus Tag Larkin did not have to sacrifice anything to achieve his dominance over time, space, reality, power, mind, soul or any other Infinity Gem not yet discovered.

“It was when people who had decried New York City as a desolate den of liberal inequity and perversion for years suddenly started sucking New York’s dick like a fucking Hoover,”  says Tina the Lesbian.  “And how people who make their money saying unions are destroying America and should be abolished suddenly discovered they totally love the cops and firefighters, even though they belong to those filthy communist unions that get together with Marx and Lenin and Stalin and gang-rape liberty in the basement of their socialist frathouse.”

“The first time I saw a 9/11 t-shirt,”  says Mikka.  “Today you’re wearing Never Forget, tomorrow you’re wearing I’m With Stupid.  Your message is fine, but your choice of medium really undercuts the tragic element of that day…”

“Yeah, for me it the first time I saw the first items of 9/11 commemorative memorabilia,”  says Samurai Cathy.  “They weren’t selling commemorative plates when Pearl Harbor got attacked, or when Kennedy got shot.  Congratulations, we’ve commoditized a horrific event and are passing the savings to you!”

Sparkly 9/11 gifs showing up on Myspace,”  says Avonia the Wiccan Pimp.  “When you can express your grief for 9/11 in the same way you can tell someone they’re a special friend, it becomes less catharsis and more a pissing match to see who remembers 9/11 the hardest.”

“I think it’s when people started saying 9/11 should be a national holiday and we should get off from work for it,”  says Bernie the Half-Cyborg Cat.  “Japan doesn’t give people the day off on the anniversary of the atomic bomb being dropped on Hiroshima, and that was like a thousand 9/11’s.  Plus, what if there’s some new tragedy that kills twice as many people as 9/11?  Do we strip 9/11 of its holiday status and give it to the new tragedy?  It’s a horrible precedent.”

“It was when I couldn’t get laid anymore just by mentioning 9/11,”  says Anonymous Doug.  “There was a stretch where all you needed was a FDNY t-shirt and you could get any trim you wanted.  Now the 9/11 pussy train has stopped and girls at the bar think I’m wearing some sort of designer knock-off of DKNY.  Fuck you Donna Karan.”

These days 9/11 has become more of a reminder of how old I’m getting, seeing how next year is its tenth anniversary and I had graduated college in 2001.  I used to use an old t-shirt that said I had been on a ski-trip during the Blizzard of ’96 as the primary gauge on my “damn, that was that long ago?  Shit, where does the time go?” meter. And that’s coming up on 15 years next year.  Shit, where does the time go indeed…


One comment

  1. What was Liberty doing in the basement of that socialist frathouse anyway? Chicks like that are just askin’ for it

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