They go between the legs of least resistance

May 26, 2012

There’s this article we came across recently called “Dumb Women: Do Men Find Them More Attractive.” We’ll save you some time and tell you that the answer is “yes,” but not for the academic and scientific-tested reasons the article gives (regarding their degrees of “exploitation“). We’re going to drop some unconventional wisdom on you that you can’t learn in a laboratory or other place of scientific repute.

“For men, the most attractive woman is the one you’re banging,” says Anonymous Doug, who has banged all manner of woman, from PhD holder to vegetable.  “And it’s too much work getting a smart girl into bed.  Intellectual stimulation?  Child, please.  In the time it takes to get a smart girl’s cerebral cortex revved up, that dumb girl has already finished blowing me behind the dumpster.”

Doug’s point has some validity to it.  There is some cognitive dissonance men have to deal with when they see a hot girl who wants nothing to do with them for whatever reason, and the man resolves this by designating her less attractive.  This also makes the dumb girl who is interested in the man more attractive in his mind because of opportunity, not actual attractiveness (or as Doug said, the hottest girl is the one you’re banging).

“It’s simple risk/reward management,” says Anonymous Doug.  “You do less work to get a dumb girl and get the same reward as you would if you spent all that extra effort attempting to nail a smart girl.  Now smart girl may be a better lay, but that lay ain’t guaranteed, unlike the dumb girl.  You go with the higher percentage play because it sure as hell beats getting no sex at all.”

As anyone who’s taken an acting class knows, characters have objectives, and identifying that objective is integral to playing that character well.  Now once you identify that objective, you then figure out everything that character will do to achieve that objective, and how they will justify their actions in regards to their objective.  Now when you’re objective is to get laid, you’ll justify thinking a girl is a 10 when she’s really only a 7 because she looks like it’s easier to plow her.  Conversely, men will downgrade women in terms of looks if she seems like it’s going to be a lot of work getting into her pants.

“And the best part is, it’s easy to do a fuck-and-duck on a dumb chick,” says Anonymous Doug.  “If I don’t want to see her again, I don’t.  It’s easy.  She’s a dumb chick.  What have I lost?  I can go get another one the next night.  Smart chicks, though, they make you think about them like they’re actual people, and then you gotta fight off feelings and shit.  Not that you can’t ditch a smart chick, it’s just harder.”

Emotions do tend to complicate things, especially when they conflict with the stated objective.  Balancing emotions and objectives is work, and as stated before about men trying to get laid we try to do the least amount of work as possible. It’s like water, except it’s fucking instead of flowing.

“But what doesn’t work at all is the dumb girl who thinks she smart,” says Anonymous Doug.  “Because she’s going to try to prove that to you, and it evaporates the mirage in our head’s about the dumb girl being more attractive.”

It should be noted that this is just for having sex with women, not being in a relationship with them (there’s a difference, and you know it), which the article also addresses:

They lost their luster entirely when the men were asked to rate these same women’s attractiveness as prospective girlfriends or wives. The possible evolutionary logic behind this interaction is fairly straightforward: In the latter case, the man would risk becoming the cuckoldee, not the cuckolder. (Of course you could also argue that men might rather marry a woman who looked like she could hold up her end of the conversation over French toast.)

“Like Ron White says, you can’t fix stupid,” says Anonymous Doug.  “If you’re going to spend any extended amount of time with a woman, she’d better have a brain in her damn head or else.  When you date a dumb girl, her stupidity does damage for two now. Even worse, the dumb rubs off on you because your brain operates on a lower level with her and it gets used to it.”

Doug is right.  I could not date a woman who wasn’t sharp of mind, but I’ll bang a dumb one for an evening.  And I’m willing to wager women have a similar disposition as well.  Yeah, they’d love to be in a relationship with a funny, intelligent guy but if time is short and you don’t feel like putting in the effort there’s usually a dumber dude available who will do just nicely.  High percentage plays with average sexual rewards… it’s more statistics than science, more game theory than genetics, and it answers more questions than it raises so it’s what we would call a sound theory.

So let’s not ask smart people to dumb it down, let’s make smart more approachable and accessible. I’m sure we can do that.  We’re smart!


  1. I could never do a stupid guy. I’d much rather just have sex with myself

  2. smart chicks get dumped. but whe can generally track yo ass down, so be decent about it…

    i can no longer fuck stupid. not only is is a lousy time, but the man will invariably want to speak to you after ejaculation. some lame ass shit about his dreams, aspirations and whatnot. and at that point, all i can do is lament that i never finished building the “Ejecto-Bed” to launch his dumb ass out the window…

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