Archive for the ‘Meta’ Category


Turn Back the Renal Clock: September 2008 Part Two

December 7, 2011

More from the past lies and fabrications…

Tag Larkin vs. Sarah Palin’s kids… guess who won that battle?

There’s a small distinction between being Lesbian Tina and Tina the Lesbian.

Abortion on demand is something very different that what Anonymous Doug believes it to be.

One time we completely forgot about 9/11.


Turn Back the Renal Clock – September 2008 Part One

December 6, 2011

While we wait for inspiration for more wild fabrications and outright lies, we’ll give you some of our older material that you may have missed the first time around…

It’s hard to write resumes for a ronin for hire.

Sarah Palin is announced as John McCain’s running mate for President. Immediately we deduce that a bear is a better candidate.

We need gay cards to send to our gay friends getting gay married.

If you say you’re funny and you’re not funny, I will be mad at you.


Ooh… what rounded number of arbitary significance have reached this time?

July 15, 2011

Renal Readers, whether you be newcomers to the Failure or seasoned veterans, welcome to Renal Failure’s 1,700th post.  To celebrate, let’s bring up some favorite posts (listed in no particular order) of our first year of blogging that very few people saw because it wasn’t on WordPress yet, it was on my long-since deleted Myspace page as a writing experiment (Myspace… wow, shit was certainly different back in those days of yore…) .  Also, these posts don’t get referenced much, if at all, in the later years either.

December 23, 2005: Our first real post, introducing both Bernie the Half-Cyborg Cat and Anonymous Doug.  And it explains how Doug’s anonymous powers work.  Also his powers are demonstrated here as well.

June 14, 2006: One of Psycho Dave’s best ideas ever, and the explanation of his feud with Alex’s Lemonade Stand.

March 1, 2006: The shocking secret of Lent is revealed!

June 9, 2006: We do the hokey-pokey differently than other people.

May 23, 2006: This is why I don’t get invited to cocktail parties anymore.

December 31, 2005: Tag Larkin is introduced to the world, and the world is never the same.

December 4, 2006: Anonymous Doug figures out how to legally have sex with a 12-year old.  And it doesn’t involve going to a Southeast Asian country either.

April 19, 2006: I have problems expressing love in healthy ways.

December 16, 2006: We debut our Bible-based superhero Eli Kodiak to the world. Pat Robertson’s Trinity Broadcasting Network has not optioned us for a series yet, but we think a man of God who can summon bears to eat people is much better than that Left Behind series, or whatever else Kirk Cameron’s pushing these days.

April 9, 2006: Somehow I make inappropriate public nudity funny on a regular basis.

October 26, 2006: I only chose this because I like the phrase “Joe Piscopalians.”

July 22, 2006: This is a joke that’s sending me straight to Hell.

August 31, 2006: The Safety Dance goes horribly wrong.

Leave a comment about your favorite all-time Renal Failure post. Relive the fond memories of the 1,700 post juggernaut that is the blog of wild fabrications and outright lies!


Turn Back the Renal Clock: August 2008 – Part Four

June 8, 2011

Joss Whedon is Christianity’s Greatest Monster, and probably the greatest monster of a few other things too.

Anonymous Doug was a squatter in one of the seven houses that John McCain wasn’t aware he owned.

Ninjas do not leave warning letters.


Turn Back the Renal Clock: August 2008 – Part Three

June 7, 2011

More from the summer of 2008…

Samurai Cathy and Mikka can’t get married until Mikka learns how to properly avenge Samurai Cathy’s death.

When you have a dream about one of your parents being a winged centaur creature, please don’t write about it in an opinion column for the Washington Post.  It makes you look batshit crazy.

Trent Lott explains that vice-presidents are chosen for their smack-talking abilities.


Turn Back the Renal Clock: August 2008 – Part Two

June 6, 2011

More from August of ’08…

Samurai Cathy meets Tina the Lesbian.  It’s not as sexy as it sounds.

To lower the rising cost of gas, Psycho Dave wants to drill my mom for oil.

I came up with some helpful tips to watching the Summer Olympics.  They involve drinking to excess.

Tag Larkin is a particular man.


Turn Back the Renal Clock: August 2008 – Part One

June 5, 2011

I haven’t felt very creative this week so here’s some posts you might have missed the first time around…

Crimson Paraplegic vs. Dr. Platonic… not quite the epic matchup that they make summer blockbuster movies about.

Tina the Lesbian learns how to play soccer from a drunk Irish hooligan, better known as Bernie the Half-Cyborg Cat’s wife Marlie.

Ninja Vicki explains the concept of ninja loans.

Tag Larkin kicks off his campaign to be mayor of our town.

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