Archive for the ‘Truth’ Category


No one opens Pandora’s Box by mistake, do they?

April 12, 2009

Dear guy who was born in 1980 from Texas who used my email address to sign up for Pandora,

What the fuck, dude? Seriously. Why would you sign up for something under someone else’s email?

Luckily I know it’s not because you got into my email account because Pandora doesn’t send out a confirmation link email to verify your address after you sign up.  But did you think the owner of that email address wouldn’t find out about it?  They send a “Welcome to Pandora!” email when you sign up. Did you not think that once the owner of that email address saw that email all he’d have to do is hit the “Forgot my password” button on Pandora and lock you completely out? What made you think this was a good idea? And furthermore why did you pick cockballs as your password?

I’d be more pissed off about this but Pandora is damn awesome, so I’m keeping it for myself. First thing to go, your profile info, which is how I know you’re a dude from Texas born in 1980. Now I’m back to being the 45 year old woman from Truth or Consequences, New Mexico that I pretend to be to keep the government from stealing my memories. Next, your stations. Gone. No more ZZ Top and The Gorrilaz and whatever Fever Ray is. Now it’s replaced with DragonForce, Nightwish, and The Minibosses.

But seriously… what the fuck? Gmail addresses are free. Get your own! Or was this some elaborate plot to get me to be a Pandora listener? This shark is either very clever or very stupid. And he can’t go down with three barrels, not with three he can’t!



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